Just had an odd couple of days, one was weird with creepy fun and the other just didn’t end up being what it was supposed to be.
Lets start with the one that didn’t turn out right at all – that was yesterday.
The day before I get a call saying they needed me to start work down here in sunny Devon at 14:30 and go to Oakthorpe Dairy in Palmers Green, North London.
At midnight I get another call stating that everything has changed and I need to start at 08:00 and will be going to Stoke on Trent (joy, not!).
You see, we like going to the Oakthorpe Dairy, it’s a great run up to London and back, they have a great restaurant there and we have a good chat with the Dairy hands (Dave, Martin, Bob, and others) as well as other drivers from all over the UK. On top of this, reversing on to bay two is notoriously one of the hardest reverses in the UK, it looks straight forward, like it wouldn’t present an issue of any type – until you select reverse that is!
But Palmers Green is weird, it’s nice even, and what is really odd is the fact that it’s close to everywhere, but not really anywhere… What I mean is, being on the North Circular with the main A10 trunk road that leads straight out of London, it can have you in Cambridge in 40 minutes! It has every amenity, yet people whistle through it sometimes without realising it’s there.
Justin over at Peter Barry estate agents agrees and has written a small piece about the area on there site HERE
The other day I received a short notice call to get to work urgently and do a double run to Westbury (sigh). It’s fair to say we work very rurally and part and parcel of our every day is dodging wildlife in the forms of Badgers, Rabbits, Birds (feathered), Foxes and Deer – a lot of deer. There is sadly so much roadkill it’s a little disturbing. But there is nothing worse that a large animal that has become bloated in it’s death, so at night and where possible, we often hit them and hopefully bounce them way off into the verges.
If you know me, you’ll know where this story is going…
This, while it sounds gruesome helps clear the road and expedites natures course. Certainly the birds and foxes don’t hang about in devouring what is left.
So, while traveling down the A350 towards Warminster I notice this HUGE dead badger, the size of a bloated Rottweiler. To be honest, it was staggeringly huge, dead and tucked into the verge.
On the way back I see it again and think, ‘if it’s there when I return, I’ll see if I can clip it out of the way’.
3 hrs later and at around 1am at night I see the thing still there, I cut in close and at speed. and hit it. The thing was, there this almighty BANG!! so I instantly slammed the brakes on. Now at this point I must admit to weighing in at the full 44 tons, so I wasn’t going to be stopping anytime too soon and with the odd ABS activation illuminating the instrumentation screen, I carried on my way.
While at Westbury I was telling another driver about it and said he’d have a look on his way back.
Well, on my return journey I was a little gobsmacked at my handy-work for sure, but once back at my depot I heard someone shout me from across the yard, I looked and saw several faces, one being the guy I had spoken to at Westbury.
He asked how hard I had hit the dead badger, so I said that I hit it and applied the brakes – he stared at me, his face turning to a smile and then a laugh. One of the other guys said “what?” inquisitively and my friend started tell him of the sheer carnage that greeted his return from Westbury.
It was everywhere! he said, hanging off the fence, all over the verge, the road was covered in blood and flesh from one side to the other! Even the trees and hedges on the other side of the road were covered in blood and hanging entrails! If the police see that, they’re gonna start searching the area for survivors.
I can’t put across the hilarious way this guy said all this, but at this point the other guy was just stood listening with his jaw open – to which my mate said “if you’d stood looking like that, you’d have had a mouth full of badger bowels mate.
Shutting his mouth, the other guy turns to me and says “you’re one sick bast**d!”
I replied with “you say that, but I had to switch the cab heater on on the way back and it’s a little wrank in there to say the least”.