The Wondering Brit

I’ve used twitter under one name or the other from not long after it started. It really isn’t the device where you text that you’re on the 3rd stir of your cup of tea, it’s an awesome near realtime communication tool and an even greater leveller of people from so many walks of life.
For the most part I have communicated with so many people I would not have met, socialised with or even entered their sphere of influence.
As such I had a rule that I’ve only broken twice, you see I noticed that once people went past the 30,000 followers mark, they would begin to suffer from the shear number of tweets, which they lose touch and indeed the ability of the tool is no longer viable in a personal way.
After 30,000 it becomes a PR device and little more – so has it been of use to me? and why have stayed connected to people over the 30k threshold.

Yes it has been of use to me and no more so then during this last six months. It really became noticeable while I was working very late one Saturday night when I sent out the message “In a muddy field in the middle of nowhere”. This is actually quite a normal place for me to be when hauling milk tankers about. But the response from one person was instant, and I realised that while I need to be a little more careful of what I write, right there was a voice of care and the ability to gain immediate assistance.

I now use Google Latitude, so not only can people send tweets, they can follow me on a map on the web.

In more recent times and for regular readers, they know I’ve been recuperating from injuring my shoulder… Now I feel that the TWBrit must bare a little soul here;

I’m often not a nice person, it’s a floor of mine. I have an arrogant air that often astounds even me and I don’t like it. But in these past weeks I have been truly humbled by the care and distinct affection shown to me by people on twitter.
I don’t say this lightly, people Direct Messaging me daily to check I’m alright etc.
I am humbled, I have not asked anyone to drop by, but I know I only have to ask and they will.

Today, in a world so full of greed and hatred, people often show their greater and more natural sides in this medium, I too have noticed an old (better) trait of mine coming back. You see I’m not impressed by celebrity, fame, power because having witnessed bad things around the world, you realise that we are weak, emotional and fragile. I truly believe in people first, only if the mandate of a job is so vital that it’s sensitivity is taken on board would anything change me from this. If someone needs real help and I can assist – irrespective of work or anything else I will – and I haven’t really had that mindset for quite a while.
So it’s a breath of fresh air to talk and feel care from quarters you wouldn’t and I am grateful.
My life has been a real adventure, but I am more often than not a grumpy old guy – so yes, it’s good to feel humbled and it’s right to sometimes be disarmed and I truly thank everyone who has shown this care through this medium.

As for going over 30k, well just the other day someone who I really don’t know personally, but seem to tweet with quite a bit with - hit the 30k. Now while she lives kinda around the corner from me, she was also aware that I (and others) drop people at 30k. The moment they passed the threshold she tweeted ‘are you still there?’
I didn’t initially respond because, well,  I’m an evil s.o.b. with a cheesy grin, but later I did make a remark and her response (a human one) guaranteed my not dropping her and probable continued follow for while she ever uses this medium and thats what this is all about – being human and communicating.

So twitter….

It is worth it, it’s useful, you will meet people from all over the world. For the most part I talk to people I wouldn’t normally know but you know what? I’ve learned cool places to eat, where to go, how to get things iI normally couldn’t and so many other useful things. Yet to take a moment you realise that anyone of these people could be the person who saves your life…

Amazing!!

I have made reference here to several people and the crazy thing – I’ve not met anyone whom I’ve refered to! There is someone whome I will mention soon, but I’m doing a little work for at the moment, so I shall refrain.

But simply – thank you.

This week has been, well, not so great I guess. Basically if it could go wrong – it did go wrong!!

Some things are just infuriating, like Vodafone telling me that I don’t have the two cell phone packages they told me I did have when I took out my HD2 contract. One being international calls package and the other – the Internet… I was told I actually had to have the internet package when I ordered the phone and I said ok….
But apparently they LIED, MISLEAD and basically CONNED me…
So I have emailed them I told them to send the appropriate packaging so I may return the phone and cancel my contract….
Funnily enough, I’ve not heard a word since.
Shame, it’s a great phone!!

Why oh why can’t these people just do what they’re going to say they’re gonna do – why lie, con and cheat? It makes no sense at all.

The Shoulder is improving – YAY!!
It’s still not good enough to return to work sadly – heck I still can’t achieve more than 3hrs sleep with it.
But it is improving

I wrote my paper and sent it to Dr Sue Black this week having reduced it from 36 pages to 6!
I’m still not happy with it but considering I haven’t felt like I’ve been living on this planet for over 3 weeks, it’s the best I can do for now.
I will post it as a page listed in the sidebar as it’s still too long to go here.
Just writing the basic ‘action’ bullet points to add to the bottom of it.

It’s HERE

That’s enough for now and I wish everyone a great weekend.

It is with sadness but no longer uncommon to report the deaths of young men from the theatre of military operations.
It is hard to read when it’s from you’re own Regiment.
A Regiment in the British Army is an unusual thing, many, even those from other parts of the armed forces do not understand exactly what one is.
A Regiment is family…. A body of toughened fighting men, most commonly from the same geographical area.
Because of the size, it’s like going to work with the same entire village for years.
Indoctrinated with hundreds of years of the precise details of your regiments history, battles gains and losses. Once you achieve the standard to wear the Cap Badge, there is no looking back, you are in the family. And you know the name of all those who achieved so much in the hundreds of years before you.
It is a family and it is for life.
Through the years governments reorganize regiments, battalions, they amalgamate and disband them.

Once and originally the 33rd afoot, then joined with the 76th afoot, later to be named The Duke of Wellingtons Regt. And now the 3rd Bn The Yorkshire Regt.
But they are still and referred to as such as the 33rd and the Dukes.

Corporal Liam Riley and Lance Corporal Graham Shaw

Prince Harry, who served with Cpl Riley at a military training unit in Canada in 2007, said he was a “legend”.

Cpl Riley was 21 years old, while L/Cpl Shaw turned 27 on Sunday.

Prince Harry, who spent 10 weeks on the frontline in Afghanistan before being flown home in February 2008, said it had been a “privilege” to work alongside Cpl Riley at the training unit in Canada.

“He was a legend. A really special man who got us all going and heading in the right direction,” he said.

“It is incredibly sad also to hear that Liam died alongside his friend, Lance Corporal Graham Shaw.

“My heart goes out to their loved ones, and to their many, many friends in their regiment and the wider Army.”

Cpl Riley, from Sheffield, and L/Cpl Shaw, from Huddersfield, were on foot patrol when two bombs exploded.

Typically today’s losses are harder than they should be, these men did not die in a manner they would have wished, not in the heat of any soon forgotten battle nor while trying to save the lives of others – they were killed by yet another road side bomb… And that my friends is a cruel waste.

What a week for news stories, the world is turning and I seem not to be doing so with it

I would like to say I’m back to being fighting fit but sadly the reality is very different.
It’s almost like 1 step forward – 3 steps back, and it’s getting frustrating.
Yesterday I felt almost 100%, went grocery shopping (as this prevents death) and made sure I didn’t get any sleep until I could no longer keep my eyes open…
Now, even with a near midnight run to London on an urgent errand that rectified itself and wasn’t required – I turned in looking forward to possibly my first full nights sleep…
2hrs later I’m up and wide awake and yet again in pain!!
Today, I’ve been stuck in an arm chair with hotwater bottle on my shoulder fidgeting away getting very frustrated.
At least I’m not taking Codeine anymore , but at this rate I’ll soon be back on it.

So, while I truly want to be back on my feet and doing things (like earning money – which is now taking a toll), I have to resign myself to being almost stationary for the next few days.

I can’t even begin to say how annoying this is – but alas, onward and upward! – just slowly…

Well, so much for a great beginning to 20-10ty
As most know, I’ve been laid up after sustaining a shoulder injury and to be quite honest, I still cant believe just how painful an injury of this kind can actually be. And yet so many people suffer them!
However, with only getting sporadic sleep and Codeine that  seemed to be effective only when and if wanted to be, I thought I was slowly going nuts until the other day when the pain finally started to ease a little.
So much so infact that two days ago I started going longer without the Codeine and halved the dosage.
Yesterday after taking just one table after 8hrs something very strange happened – I almost started tripping out on the drug!!!
It was like instead of one. I had taken 20… The effect was awful and I found myself waking up all over the place – yeah, weird huh?
Unable to do much the worse part was I didn’t care.
But a huge thank you to Gabsatrucker, WKD and JK who mithered me throughout and to all of you both on here and Twitter who kept me sane and kept checking up on me…I would snog you all – but then end up in jail – so I wont. Oh and WKD sent me a photo today while out cow spotting and also while asking if I was ok…. (I’m kinda hoping those are just tags in it’s ears).

Around 7pm I started to come around and get myself together enough to know not to take anymore Codeine.

Today I have been really quite groggy but have managed with thanks to Rachel Beer Co-founder of Beautiful World to find a Graphic Artist to look at my Blog Logo and at the moment we look like we’re starting from scratch!!

Also, it came to my notice that while lagging behind badly in the Tablet Computing stakes, Apple launched the iPad yesterday. Anyway,as people started raving about it and whom appear not to have noticed 20 other such products on the market – and with the fact that for the last 5years (2 on this blog) I have been telling people until I am blue in the face about what was coming in the technology world for the end user (most of whom just 4yrs ago couldn’t understand the concept).

Anyway, it’s time to return to the world of technology so the The Wondering Brit IS available for work (contract or otherwise)!
As long as it’s interesting stuff and besides, I’m tired of having all this knowledge and doing nothing with it. (as long as I have a little time to get over my injury) I’m Available – so are you ready to be challenged?

not the best, but’ll make yer smile

Heart : Crazy on You

Ok two vids of the same song over 30 years apart. First is the most recent and the 2nd that was kinda funny.

See what you think, the only words I can find are Marshal, Costume and Size.

Yesterday I kept an appointment to a talk that I really shouldn’t have done with my shoulder being the way it is.
Nevertheless I kept my word and booked the train for London to go to a discussion at the BCS.
The BCS is the Chartered Institute for IT based on Southampton Street just off the Strand.
Climbing into my car, sudden pain kicked in with a vengeance and with gear changes being close to impossible I made my way to Tiverton Parkway station, while at one point considering returning home.
Finally clambering into what was possibly the smallest most uncomfortable seat that I believe the First Great Western train company owned, the train set off.
The thing is this, from the outset of being invited by Dr Sue Black, I felt it was important to go for reasons I could not understand.
I even tried to get WKD from this blog to go in my place, but she came back and said that I really should go if I could.
So what was the talk called and about?
Tomorrow’s Women, Tomorrow’s World!!

As the train plodded on I considered the title and what the talk would be about and certainly the panel who would be sitting. Most notably Dr Sue Black who is the head of department at Westminster University, Maggie Philbin who is a well known UK broadcaster and others.

Delayed into London due to a broken rail, I knew I needed to eat and the only man I know who knows the good places to eat anywhere in the world, often by simply walking past the place as 10,000 flies can’t ever be wrong – I twittered Dom Joly and asked. Within minutes the reply came back as; Maroush, 1 Edgware Road….
I was out of Paddington Station and heading to Edgware on foot… and it was bloody freezing ! lol
But the more I walked the better my shoulder felt, so I just kept going.
Arriving at the bottom of Edgware I saw a several Lebanese restaurants but none with the name Dom had given me. I popped into a news agent and he told me to cross the road and I’d see it. In doing I saw it straight away.
Taking a pic and sending it to Dom, I went in, told them I was in a rush and needed some thing quick and easy.
I was still presented with a menu and finally chose their Mixed Grill. I asked for a coffee and I think these pictures tell a far better story. I was again impressed with Dom the nosh Meister!  Only to find they had run out of milk and had to go out to buy some…
But get this, from entering the front door, to leaving after being stuffed with a mixed grill, olives, bread and coffee – 23.5 minutes!! Total cost £17.50.  Bloody awesome.!  However, as I left I got  a tweet from Dom who simply wrote ‘Wrong Place!’

I strolled back around to Marble Arch, the road junction there being the historical site of the infamous Tyburn where in centuries past, thousands had been either hung, drawn and quartered or simply burnt at the stake – ahhhh, the good olde days (sighs…)
On to the tube a quick change and alight at Charing Cross and exiting on Trafalgar Square.
A pleasant stroll up Strand passing all the big theaters I finally arrived at BCS a whole one hour early… The Irony being that is if I was being paid – I would have been late!
Sitting at a laptop on a hotdesk Dr Sue Black was busy crowbarring some powerpoint slides together with a mallet and I stopped by to say hello before she directed me to the most important of all places – the coffee…
Sue came over a short time later to introduce me to IT consultant, fellow blogger and twitterist @pjbryant – who, as it turned out, was from Wisbeach just north of Cambridge.
We were soon tucked into conversation and comparing our HTC telephones before going in to the talk.
Now, just before I finally get into the subject matter of this post, it turns out that @pjbryant had also suffered just about the exact same injury to his shoulder at one point and his knowledge about the matter was far more comprehensive that anything I’d heard from a Doctor or Nurse over the last week and I for one am fully grateful to his insight and information!
 
On the Panel were Prof Rob Macredie, Maggie Philbin, Dr Sue Black as Chair, Mohan Koo and Rebecca George OBE
The basic issue was this; Over the past however many years, there has been a constant decline in the amount of women in IT at one level or another. This has had variable reasons both social and relating to Human Factors, but the bottom line is Women simply appear not to be interested in a field where often they are exceptional compared to their male counterparts.
The next issue was simply; How do we get them back?…..

Now, like many I listened to this open debate with interest. I listened to the people qualified to know their stuff and a few points of view by everyone else – But!! As I told Sue Black later, I was chomping on the bit to say something. She asked why didn’t I and I simply said, when I get that animated my brain loses all contact with my mouth and it wouldn’t have been good.

I think that some may have felt I have come from a place of feeling my masculinity threatened, but if any of you know me I hang out with ladies who not only drive Big Rig trucks – they’re all IT savy people.

I actually disagreed with a good part of what was said, but there were certainly points that were going in the right direction, but fell short by the limited sight of the proposer.
From the outset, the wrong terminology was used, because the use of it limits the long term nature of the plans and goals from the begining.
Then for someone to say there is a lack of IT Engineers in the UK is about the single most uniformed piece of information I think I’ve heard in a long long time.

So, I aired a few thoughts with Sue and went on my way back across London to go home.
But it didn’t stop there, for the next four hours I thought about nothing else! I ripped apart argument after argument in my head followed ideas and proposals. And have been buzzing about this most of today while trying to sooth my shoulder.
This IS solvable, it ISN’T a problem and I believe I have a realistic point of view from where to start to address these issues.

However, I’m writing it all up and will publish it on here when completed – but not until Dr Black can have the chance to rip it apart first lol.

Dr Sue Black is a lovely person I met through the internet as she promotes the saving of Bletchley Park with every spare moment. Her photos do not do her credit and she is far more personable in real life than any one would imagine.

I enjoyed immensely being challenged by this meeting, it’s been over 5 yrs since I enthused about anything and last night, my brain was finally switched on again….

But here is what I will say;
The most basic foundation of the future of IT training, recruitment and employment requires one thing that’s doesn’t actually exist

The Definition of ALL IT and Telecommunication Trades, what they are and where they fit, not in a University, or a few offices of the middle of London – but The World!!
Without this, how can we even start to sell something that has no definition and position within the entire sphere of IT…

This is literally about going back to the drawing board and doing the QS on the whole thing, from the code crunchers, sat comm tech, the end users super awesome video editor and Vlogger. No one has done it, not ever, there is no one single industry bible of ALL trades and certainly nothing that would resemble anything readable by a 14yr old trying make a career choice.

Basic IT to MCSE standard should be taught and qualified in for the first 3 yrs of secondary education – why? Because this is basic info for the future of our civilized societies and should be a compulsory requirement.

The futures bright, The future – it’s in my brain      -> Except for the fact that somewhere between BCS and home I lost my Kodak Zi8 HD camera…. if I hadn’t there would have been many more photos. I will endevour to contact the train company tomorrow in slight hope that they picked it up.

Which?

A Land Rover Defender 110 County Station Wagon or a Discovery?

I thought…. (I know, steady on)
That because of the words of the ladies who comment on my blog have been so welcome (sarc.) and based on something WKD and JK said with ref to ‘Girl Power’ and the use of it way before the Spice Girls collared the phrase – I’d post a vid to say thankyou.
To Fenny, Loraine, WKD, Gabby, Terry and to the ladies who follow on Twitter, who knowingly make my life awkward, turn up the speakers, look away from the screen and well – enjoy:

This is a video made by a yet an unknown colleague to me and while some of the refferences are British, I just thought it was good.

from the bbc

The German government has warned web users to find an alternative browser to Internet Explorer to protect security.

The warning from the Federal Office for Information Security comes after Microsoft admitted IE was the weak link in recent attacks on Google’s systems.

Microsoft says the security hole can be shut by setting the browser’s security zone to “high”, although this limits functionality and blocks many websites.

However, German authorities say that even this would not make IE fully safe.

Speaking to BBC News, Graham Cluley of anti-virus firm Sophos said the warning applied to versions 6, 7 and 8 of the browser.

“This is a vulnerability that was announced in the last couple of days. Microsoft have no patch yet and the implication is that this is the same one that exploited on the attacks on Google earlier this week,” he said.

“The way to exploit this flaw has now appeared on the internet, so it is quite possible that everyone is now going to have a go.”

Microsoft traditionally release a security update once a month – the next scheduled patch is the 9th of February. However, a spokesman for Microsoft told BBC News that developers for the firm were trying to fix the problem.

“We are working on an update on this issue and this may well be involve an out of cycle security update,” he said.

Fix development

However, this is no easy task. Not only have the firm got to fix the loophole, but they have to ensure it does not create another one and – equally importantly – works on all computers. This is a challenge compounded by the fact they have to fix three different versions of its browser.

Microsoft said that while all versions of Internet Explorer were affected, the risk was lower with more recent releases of its browser.

The other problem facing developers is that the possible risk might not be prevented by anti-virus software, even when recently updated.

“We’ve been working to analyse the malware that the Chinese are using. But new versions can always be created,” said Mr Cluley.

“We’ve been working with Microsoft to see if the damage can be mitigated and we are hoping that they will release an emergency patch.

“One thing that should be stressed is that every browser has its security issues, so switching may remove this current risk but could expose you to another.”

Odd title huh? I was writing a post about last nights work, having a good walk around and look at WKD’s car this morning and then….. I got bored…

However, according to an article on the BBC News website, the number of new cars failing there first MOT’s has risen sharply. (MOT is  the Ministry of Transport test certificate that must be carried out annually when a vehicle reaches 3yrs old)
At the top of this list it is no surprise to find cars made where? C’mon, give it a go…..
Fr**ce!! Either by Fr**ch motor companies or just made in country.
There was a surprise too, that both WKD and my mother won’t be impressed with….
Anyway, here’s the list

Now I have posted this before, but to show Fr**ch engineering at it’s best, I’ll show it again because it ALWAYS has me rolling around laughing.

Finally, are computers stupid? What I mean is, I played a game of chess today against windows and I won… but look at the result….

Well there’s plenty of news this week – that’s for sure!
Ok, where to start…

The TWBrit Car of Character (CofC) has reached the end of it’s usable life….
I can’t complain because I bought it for £350 and it’s never failed to start other than the day the battery failed.
Anyway, to pass it’s next MOT it’ll need a new windscreen and as of two days ago it requires a new Catalytic converter.
So, time to get shot of it. And where you may ask will it go? Well it will take on a new life as a stock car/ demolition derby – which I may just film (seeing as WKD never shot it)
So, my internet friends – what car should TWBrit have next, be advised I hate spending money.
Talking of WKD though…
While driving her Red Missile to work (BMW Mini), it sadly failed to negotiate a snow drift a short distance from her farm. ‘C’ being her (Kevlar plated) husband promptly arrived to help – by promptly giving her a shovel…
Kinda like the guys style!

Haiti town planning isn’t as good as they thought and some of the images coming out of there are quite disturbing; wish I could be there to help.

Google are removing the censorship on their China operation and that has gone down like a lead balloon with the Chinese authorities – like we have sympathy! – NOT!

The British Military is so strapped for cash they’re looking at major reductions in manpower as they no longer have the funds to pay them…
However, the SA80’s life may well have sadly come to an end with the large whole sale purchase of a new 7.62mm(0.308) rifle, the LM7 – what???? Like didn’t we have one of those before???
Calibre size is a huge issue and argument. For the most part the 7.62mm round is slightly too powerful as it simply goes straight through the target where as the 5.56mm (0.22) tumbles around inside a target acting like a liquidizer.

As you can see in the article below, I went to Made By Bob the other day and thoroughly enjoyed it. On the way back I ended up rallying through snow for nearly and hour on the Blackdown Hills – it was just after this I noticing an issue with the car.

I am going to add a more indepth section regarding Snow and Ice driving to the Motorway Driving Survival Guide in the coming days or weeks because of the sheer lunacy I have witnessed recently. Well at least it should be a little humourous.

Finally, after all this snow and Ice we’ve been having, my Stabilicers Lite turned up yesterday from the US. To be honest, I think for long term usage, they’ll wear out soon enough. But for basic getting around – these a re perfect. If I break them, I’ll buy the heavy duty ones

Ok, I need to know what you guys think to this;

So, I went rallying last night around the country roads of Devon in my wreck of a car. It started with me going out at 2am to move my car (the CofC) from the High St in order to avoid getting a parking ticket this morning.
The snow was only and inch or so deep, but deep enough for fun! And boy did I have some…
Returning with a HUGE grin on my face I was actually glad I didn’t own a Landy (that’s a Land Rover btw).
Getting up at noon today and receiving an email immediately from WKD, I learned that sense and wisdom had prevailed in the home of the White Knuckle Driver and sending me these photos of the North Devon Link Road with is a normally a high capacity artery that connects North Devon (oddly) to the rest of the world – I have to concur and say that while normally she would have still tried to get to work, this year she plucked out some good old commonsense and said ‘stuff this for a game of soldiers’ <- I made that bit up…
Anyway, she returned home where she is safe, sound and most certainly warm.
The rest of the UK is pretty much in the same boat, but with the weather due to get far worse, my car is now grounded. Honiton today is very quiet though what traffic there is, is still moving.
This has not stopped the Agency from ringing to see if I can get to work, but unless my usual place of employment has suddenly gained vehicles fit for purpose, I’m simply not moving!.
The down side to this means I’m house bound again, where as blog reader KMA is just about to run off for a few days in India – kinda hating her for it right now. LOL

So I went back to work and for the most part it was a bit of a laugh. But for the life of me I couldn’t work out the timings right.
What I mean is, from the West Country, to Burgess Hill (just north of Brighton) and then on to Haywards Heath to pick up things from shops that were open just for the Christmas period.
Well, in the event it turned into hard work, a lot of sweating and temps down to minus 5C.
I drove the return leg but we loaded the truck to the brim with stock and display stands for nothing more the Calendars!.
Only to find that we had technically done a 16 ½ hour duty and that is kinda, well… illegal!
Yet there was no rescue available and we had to get back!
So, I wasn’t too impressed, but it was another day done… Click on the map to see our route, red was outbound – green was return.

Returning home at 03:30 in the morning, I opened my door and felt humidity!!
Then I heard water dripping!
Opting for a table lamp over the use of the ceiling lamp, all was revealed!
Water was seeping through the joints of the ceiling and running from the light fitting.
Most things were already splash saturated and I immediately stated clearing the area, removing the light shade, getting electrics out to the way before running up stairs and waking the people who live above out of bed. Initially nothing could be found but I could smell the sour stench of central heating water.

I returned to my flat to empty the first of several buckets of water out, until there was a knock at the door. They had found the cause and looked on in horror at my ceiling and me racing around to sort everything out.
It was their central heating pump that had died a death of sorts and water was just streaming out of it and down the electricity cables.

With only an hours sleep the phone rang asking if I was available to work – my answer : NO!

At midday today, plumbers turned up and in no time water was running out of my ceiling again!!
As I write, MORE water is running and I now have to go and have a word with them – oh the joy!!!
I would have asked if WKD wanted to pop by for a cup of tea one her way through with it being the New Year and all, but alas due to this incident and having of course to wear rain hats in my living room – maybe not!!
I am of course telling a huge lie about that invite, yer see it sounds good and real sociable and all, backed up with a quality and real excuse of why not… and there lays the trick

Well, WKD, Cozmic and Gabby all sent pictures of New Years…
Sadly no one else had the will or soundness of sobriety to do so.
So without further ado – lets see what we got..
First up; Gabby and hubby James from Arkansas USA… Now a few things of note here. firstly I didn’t realise Gabby was deficient in the height dept. OR is it that she married a giant?!
I say this because of how the same cups/plastic glasses held by both are the same size – one looks like a thimble in the hands of James and the other like a mug in the hand of Gabby…
Nevertheless, they both appear to be festive enough albeit a little too sober.

Next up is our one and only WKD… now this is about as clear a pic you’re ever gonna get of WKD and I’ll let you into a little secret – when I got the pic, I didn’t recognise her anyway (and that was b4 I put the beer in front of her!).
Other than that, there was no need to doctor the photo further as while I like putting facial hair on, blackening out teeth etc, I’m told it can be quite offensive… (shame  eh?)

Now this last picture is of course Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. No, it’s not Mini-me as the angle of the photo would have meant someone would have had to dig a hole in the floor to take it..
It is of course, the one and only Cozmic.

Now, before I get to the final part of this – JK!!
I received a pic from the ever popular JK who!!! Ignored ALL my advice about keeping it clean and sent a picture of what appears to be her left breast…
Together with either eye liner or photoshop’d eyes and mouth ( I didn’t look too closely).  Really though, I should have guessed as she’s been really quite quiet in the last couple of days….

And finally… from former gun runner, fettered servant to kings and better known today as the Kebab King of Kandahar there will be a video coming of him coming right – here…. When I edit it properly.

UPDATE:     This vid isn’t going so well, but to stop folks whinging, here is a highly dubious screen shot;

Ok, from something bad comes something good-ish…
You know what some of you did to me on Christmas Day at the instigation of our rowdy commentor JK?
Well here is my take on this…
At the stroke of midnight on New Years eve (this includes me), take out your phone or camera and either get someone to take a pic of you and your better halves, or simply turn the cam on yourself and take a pic of your drunken face.
Then send them to me and I’ll post them!
If you want anonimity, then I’ll black out some part of your head…
The worse for wear you are – the better!

Now whats betting I don’t get a single photo.

I pay for, but can’t get a 20mb Broadband connection. Apparently I can only get up to 8mb’s on my given telephone exchanged.
So, using several internet based tests I have determined that at any given time, I do NOT get more than 3.7mb!!
The maximum download speed attained was a mere 6mb!
I look forward to living where I get what I pay for!

Today I got up at a nice time of 6am and a short time later a knock at the door revealed a package containing my new software (because I bought the wrong thing last week!!)
Half and hour later I sat down to play with my all new video editing suite and a few minutes later staggered to the kitchen towards the kettle while profoundly scratching my head!!
A phone call broke the silence as I hadn’t sent in one of my time sheets for last week, so I had to go and look for a scrap of paper inside the cesspit better known as the TWB Car of Character.
After sorting out and email time sheets off, I sat down once again to have play with the new editing suite.
20 mins later and I’m back to reading my book ‘Sovereign’ by C.J.Sanson (the 3rd in his series around the Shardlake mysteries).

This brings me to another thing – I’ve been looking at cars again!
I’m thinking 4×4’s now. The trouble is, which and what  in regards to age vs price!
Now I’ve owned a Range Rover and a Land Rover 110 County Station Wagon (CSW). I had a Landcrusier once too.
But I’m airing toward either an old Discovery 3.9 V8 or another 110 CSW – but I can make my mind up!!
If I have a 110, I will gear it up, with front and rear winches, up-rated suspension, front and rear towing gear and increased chassis strength. Two sets of wheels (road and off road) – but here is the problem…. I have nowhere to work on it..
So after all my search and thought, my hands are once again tied (grumble)

JK has been yet again – wanting me to post a picture that she sent me on Christmas day… I guess we’ll see and I will see what size I can actually reduce it too with Photoshop!!

I need to do so much over the coming weeks; sort out and build a new PC, get a couple of good sized monitors, change this laptop’s hard drive for a solid state one, get a new car and or course….find a dentist as I’ve been without one for almost a year!!

So today is about, well, setting a few basic goals and getting on with it (that means I’ll be starting tomorrow rather than straight away – as you must remember that I’m a guy)

Status Quo are the hardest-working band in British music, according to a list compiled by the Performing Rights Society (PRS).

The rockers performed to more than 250,000 fans at 27 arenas in 2009 – more than any other band.

Well Christmas is over and it’s time to start gearing up for 2010.
Today I was up at 6am and looking forward to start clearing my place up, being merciless with throwing out the things I simply do not need, want or use.
I also need to do a little patching up and prepping my place so that if something comes up in the work dept, I can up sticks and move quickly.

I have been having a gander about the tech world and see a court has upheld the banning of the sale of Microsoft Word after existing copies have either been sold – so a headache for Steve Bulmer and the Microsoft crew.

I’m also expecting several things to arrive in the post tomorrow, these are mainly to do with video editing and production as I’d like to do a couple of vids before I hang up the driving.

As I prepare to leave 2010 behind and look back and many of the things that I listed in my Christmas post, I do so with a real hint of sadness – my goodness, am I getting soft?
You see, it’s that I had so many plans for this year and achieved pretty much none of them. But, that just means I do need to do twice as much in 2010…
The greatest result as I have already mentioned is people, whether I’ve affected their lives, challenged them, what they do or whatever, 2009 I will always remember for the people I met.

Now on the subject of resolutions, nope, I don’t do them. The only things I covert is not smoking and getting my teeth fixed. As for my grumpy and arrogant attitude, well I’m please to inform you that there will be no change there and it’ll be business as usual.

So, now I’ll jump in the shower, and head out to do some shopping before returning to sort this place out (well, in an hour or so)

IT’s Christmas Day and the original onslaught of threatened photos from the lady commentors of this here blog is thankfully only running at two so far. As such I’m feeling far more relaxed than I might have been.

Now, while this has left me in a slightly up beat mood (because I was fearing switching on the Laptop) I will crack my favourite joke…

Two women are on holiday in Spain. With only a few days left they decide to go shopping!
While walking through the towns main shopping area they come across a store for exotic pets and decide to go and have a look.
After a few minutes one of the girls says she’s gonna buy a snake! Her friend looks at her and asks why and how on earth is she gonna get it back through Customs.
The girl says “ Well I just always wanted a snake, and I can wrap it around my waist and pretend it’s a belt”.
Her friend, thinking this is a brilliant idea say “right then, I’m gonna buy a pet too – I’m gonna buy a Skunk”
Her friend looks at her stunned!!
How the hell the hell are you gonna get that through Customs?!
“Oh, she said, That’s easy, I’ll put it down my panties and pretend I’m pregnant”
Her friend looked at her and said “But what about the smell?!”
“well,  if it dies – it dies!!” she replies

Have a great day everyone

I could write a lot about loss this year – if not a few close calls. For some reason it’s been a heady year for all of it.
I could also write about work and the recession, or even the worst parts of the last 12 months – But I won’t.

But what a year!! What a great bunch of people I’ve met, albeit one of them I had purposefully avoided for years.
Heck, I don’t do ‘sociable’ yet on the odd occasion I may almost have actually felt that I wanted to be.
This in itself causes a problem, you see I’m so used to being, well, not so sociable.

People have surprised me this year in so much as varying from the predictable, to out right inspiring! You see, whether you believe in Christmas or not, ‘people’ is what it’s all about, indeed the essence of life itself is based on exactly that. We do not exist or live to work, we work  so we can live, socialise and interact with others.

Yes, there has been the loss of a few friends, too often in a manner that has left me astounded. Not upset or angry, but people who I’ve been almost shocked at the ways they have let themselves down and it’s not a pretty thing.
Then there are the people I have simply not been able to keep up with and have had little time to do so, for which I’m shamefully sorry – because for the most part, some of them are amazing folks.

Yes it’s been a busy year where people are concerned and then there has been this old blog! Oh and the fact I sometimes the need to go to work.

But this year and more accurately, the last two months I have finally come to realise and see various things that are all good.

As for my blog, well, it’s has veered off track a lot and I’m not so happy about that. I had a plan for the blog and though other things have been keeping me from maintaining the plan discipline. But then my readership has quadrupled and that of course leads me to question the initial plan.

The ladies who comment here, for reasons I do not know or understand – taken to giving me a lot of sarcasm and stick in a humorous way and for the most part it has kept me on my toes and been welcome – albeit they do seem to be able to twist girders of written text and throw the result back at me.

So what of the next year?
You know what?! I fear 2010! Seriously, I really do. I want so much to do so many things, improve on everything that I do, start many new bits and pieces, go to many, many places… But I’m ill equipped for much of it at present – and that also means my interaction with others!

There are those who will no longer be making Christmas and you will be missed, whether it’s a few pints at the bar or just friendship – but to:

Rockposer, Alex, WKD, Gabby, Terry, Cozmic, Fenny, SEC, Lorraine, Bobby Llew, KMA, JCash, Annie1978, Ruth, Howlatthemoon, Ruthlett, San, Joe, DarkheartD, BigDog, Dave Bones, Dom, RachelH, K&J, Dave & Annie, K&D Hewlett, The Bass Player and of course JK.
 
I guess what I’m trying to say is that this year wouldn’t have anywhere near as good without all of you, your gossip, charm, sarcasm, humour and in the odd case – counsel and for all of this I’m truly in awe and thank you. So to all of you and those I have not mentioned both from here and Twitter because there are so many of you out there, I wish you a heart felt Merry Christmas. And 2010? Lets see when we get there

And DONT forget to track Santa via the NORAD and Google Earth link HERE. Just click on the little play arrows to watch the vids

A lot really, you see I was gonna sit here and blog about the last two days work doing a thing I kinda dislike – delivering pallets! Yep up and down the viciously icy country lanes and hills of Devon. I seem to have been on more farms n the last two days than I’ve ever been to in my life.
Not unlike many places, the UK has had a bit of a freeze going on and I swear I could kiss the inventor of the Diff-Lock!!

However, no matter how hard I try to write it, when I finished work today I sidled of to the Milk yard for a nice hot chocolate and a sit down before getting behind yet another steering wheel and driving home (something I do a lot).
But I noticed earlier the WKD’s car was there, but by 5pm only two bulkers had returned!! Another was being dragged across the yard in pieces after being hit by a tree coming in the opposite direction. While this was going on another wrecker was coming in pulling a whole artic (semi) also with what appeared like further tree-like copulation signs
Now I know how much trouble I’ve had the last couple of days and this simply pales into insignificance compared to what the Farm Collection drivers face everyday.
In fact, yesterday I text WKD and simply asked – how do you do your job?
3 hrs later and I rang the Office to see how bad things were and was told –they’re bad! Then I asked if all the bulkers were back and was told the last one had just pulled in.

In the north they’ve had a lot of snow, but down here, it’s mainly been freezing and then out of no where today – it rained!! It melted a few bits of ice but in reality it simply had an ‘oiling’ effect.
Since returning home, about every 20 minutes or so I hear police sirens, so as night draws the days last breaths, the temps are going down and now everything is freezing.
Now WKD is no faint hearted bird, but she is oddly – human! So after all she has done and put up with today, she has to drive home – which is at the top of a fairly steep hill. Now, for some reason (which is completely beyond my understanding), I have ventured into feeling some concern – this is unacceptable, it’s not something I do! But never the less, she is part of the team/crew, and if you’re in one of them – you simply watch out for each other.

So while I did text her to see if she was ok etc, I have heard nothing but a blank text in reply – but then like me, she often spends hours with the phone switched off.

I came across this on YouTube, it’s an audio of a little girl in Ireland doing a crank call.

I get to work at 4:30pm yesterday and notice WKD’s  red missile in the car park. I was gobsmacked, I thought she had finished for Christmas (well until a couple of hours on Christmas and Boxing Day).
Strangely as I walked across the road I couldn’t help but wonder where on earth ALL the Ex-Farm bulkers were. There was only one!
As soon as I stepped into the yard, another agency guy came sidling up wanting information and I talked to him as I made my to the office, only to be sidetracked by WKD, the only Ex-Farm driver to actually make it back to base – why? Because they were all stuck on icy desolate farm tracks!!
This is the trouble with living in a very hilly rural area, yes all the main ‘A’ roads and bus routes are salted, but the rest – no… One guy had been stuck since 8am actually on the lane running up to a farm, but as it was a typical Devon farm lane, it was so tight, he couldn’t even open the cab doors!
I got my job; a run to Westbury followed by an Axminster to Bridgwater dairy.

Heading up the motorway (the long but flat way around to Westbury) I couldn’t help but think that it was interesting that WKD was the only driver to have completed her entire route and returned to the yard on time…
Going past Weston-super-mare we got hit by a powder snow shower that cover over everything amazingly quickly and in no time had laid over an inch of the stuff. Reducing speed quickly as the unit and trailer started to try and go in seperate directions, I started thinking that this too would be a long shift.
The rest of the journey was straight forward until I actually got the industrial estate in Westbury where I was great by a completely white road. This didn’t look like anything until I realised it was a light snow over sheet ice!!

I spent hours at Westbury, a couple of other guys came in, both I knew and one was telling me there was some trouble at Honiton reload site, the very same place it took me half an hour to get moving from yesterday.
We decided on routes back and I was gonna head toward Frome and Shepton Mallet, this as it turned out was not a very good idea as I ended up driving a 10mph and using all my former Land Rover skills to keep going. Oh I so wish I still did the off road driving instruction for Land Rover, by far – the best job in the world!

Finally the on the other side of Shepton Mallet the snow and ice disappeared and while the temp had risen to minus 2 oC  it was a welcome drive – only to be flagged down by another trucker who was concerned about a low bridge ahead. He asked if there was another way around, so I asked how tall his truck was (looking like a 13’6” to me) and the reply was….. I don’t know!!!
I told him the bridge height ahead, gave him the low down of what to do and where to go and told him to check his trailer as the height has to be written on it by law (and common sense).

I was then asked to divert of to Honiton and take a look at how bad the situation was there… Well, it wasn’t good! Just the road to it looked like diamonds and shattered glass with the ice and at -5 oC I brought myself to an ABS induced stop at the entrance to the field – with my main consideration being to position myself to be able to pull away again.
The problem was two fold… firstly the tank already there was completely in the wrong place and on the wrong side of the track. The other problem as that the truck driver going in to pick up the tank after leaving an empty one, hadn’t stopped and walked up first to check the state of the ice etc.
If he had, he would have tried to reverse in and probably made it comfortably.
If the tank that was already there was parked where it should have been, he probably would have made it too. But no, in the event, all were abandoned and while I was told that he’d left his truck quite close to the existing tank and dare not move it any further in case they touched, well… gravity and ice can do things with 15 tons and they were now touching so nicely – it made me feel all warm inside (not)

Photos taken I’m back in my truck and……….no go!!
Getting the old Land Rover head on, I reversed back (unwinding the diff) then applied the diff lock and using the left to right sawing motion on the steering wheel, ‘walked’ the truck forward to gain traction and momentum. This works perfectly and almost everytime in a car too (unless trying to go uphill on ice), but in a car you have to go from lock to lock.

I told them that while normal recovery trucks wouldn’t go in to the site, two 8000lb winch equiped Land Rovers with ground anchors could easily recover the whole lot!
I pulled away and the rest is consigned to history as I got my next run done. But it must be said here, that nothing of what I do compares in the slightest to what the Ex-Farm folks do.

Now I will say that yesterday I tried some of these heavy duty rubber ice things on my work boots and was amazed that you can walk completely normally across sheet ice without slipping at all!! I can’t recommend them enough and or all the people to tell me about them – it was my sister, how is known for her polar and mountaineering skill by, well, nothing that ever own a heartbeat!! i.e. NOT.
If I had known how good these were 2 weeks ago, I would have bought the heavy duty work versions for everyone I know!!

Tomorrow – well you remember that really bad day I had in that little rollerskate they called a truck?! They want me to do that again – I’m now hoping and praying that something urgent comes up tonight on the milk…

So here was the job:
Honiton to Evercreech, then shoot over to Stamplemead at Frome and trake two tanks of skimmed milk into Westbury..
Start time was 4am, so I’m looking to finish between 1 and 2pm.
First up, I live in Honiton, so I drive straight to the site and pick up the paperwork on the way into work. I get into the office and right it all up and the night manager and I have a good chat before I go and get my truck and an empty trailer.
Every tank trailer has a ‘wash book’ as the tanks are C.I.P’d (washed) after every use and must be washed within 24hrs of them being used again. So, seeing that the wash book said the empty tank had been washed two hours previously, there was no need to check it – but something made me double question it and I checked anyway! Well thank goodness I did because the tank hadn’t been cleaned at all!! And with no spare tanks available, we had to clean this one before I went anywhere.
Putting boiling water through a tank when the outside temp was minus 6 oC is an interesting thing to do – very, how should I say? Musical? In a lively metal pounding way…   Back over to Honiton, drop and swap the trailers and….. no go!!  I could not for the life of me pull away!!  The wheels  just turned on the frozen mud… 30 minutes later and I started to gain some forward momentum and kept it going.
While icy, the roads where not too bad as I hauled 44tons up and over the Blackdown Hills. The A303 was good, Podimoor roundabout was good, the road toward Shepton Mallet was good, then I turned right on to the road to Castle Cary and was straight into Black Ice hell!!!
Seriously, I have no idea how the hell I got to the other end of it with the unit kicking around all over the place – not helped by a trailer full of liquid wanting to push me in directions I really didn’t want to go.
Arriving an hour late at Evercreech to find they were fully frozen up with the temp now being -7 oC and falling. I was there for hours waiting and waiting to get pumped off.
Finally, 3 and half hours after I arrived, I pulled away heading for Frome.
Now it’s been a little while since I’d been to the Staplemead dairy and since then a Fr**ch company had bought it and where doing ‘a little work’ on the place… Really, a little work???? I did not recognise one bit of the place!! It was as if this lot were re-landscaping the bloody Somme!!
Another hour and now 3 hrs behind, I arrive at Westbury – only to be told that the Skim I was delivering wasn’t to their liking, in fact after taking and testing 3 samples, they had a 45minute conference on it. Finally I started to tip the stuff  and had begun texting with WKD. This was the only light hearted part of the day as she said that she’d probably see me later for a chat – to which I said “Oi, no snogging or hanky-panky!!” knowing full well this would have her looking for ways to dispatch herself silently into the next world.  Time moved on slowly and then the CIP failed while cleaning my tank. For the second time in the last few days I came into direct contact with Caustic Soda and was glad I had eye protection and gloves on – as gallons of the stuff poured from the trailer.
Back to Frome and fast swap on to the next tank – and back to Westbury! Where…. They went through the same complete BS they had done before… As the sun started setting, I text WKD and gave her the relief that I would not be back in time to see her as while I was not washing this tank as time was short, she’d be at home at least an hour before I returned and for anyone to hang around for that long just to talk to me would nothing short of insanity.
Hitting the road, WKD let me know that all the truck wash systems were now frozen up and she was going home.
Finally I clocked off at 7pm, 15 hrs after I started…
I went and bought myself a Battenberg cake and went home…
It was just one of those days, but it was over.
I won’t see WKD for a while now, and sent her an email wishing her all the best for Christmas.

Today, well I’m back at it at 4:30pm

I just have to add here, that while I avoid various items of information – the top of this list now being the shopping habits of women… Imagine to my horror when finally sitting my carcus down in a comfortable armchair with a nice big coffee and my cake when Gabby, who is always up for a little retribution and P*ss taking for the grief I give her - twitters me desperate to send photos of the result of a days shopping!!! Just when yer think you’re home, warm and safe from the perils of the day…. I swear, my life is pergatory – I went to bed..

Yes, so here it is, the full version of Fede Alvarez’s short film “Ataque de Panico!” (Panic Attack!) featuring giant robots invading and destroying Montevideo, the capital of Uruguay.
After uploading this less than five minute vid to YouTube – it went viral!
In no time producers in Hollywood were watching and reaching for the phone.  It is 4 mins 48 seconds long and was made on a budget of $300 (£186).
He has now been offered a $30m (£18.6m) contract to make a Hollywood film. The movie will be sponsored by director Sam Raimi, whose credits include the Spiderman and Evil Dead films.

With previous talk of winter and snow falling across London today – and a heavy fall forecast for Friday/Saturday, I just had to post these pictures that our Terry aka Little Trucker took on her travels today…
So with a chill now running down my spine, I’m running into Exeter for a Christmas tree from Tesco… lol